When I was growing up as a young man in New York City many of the early Rap/Hip Hop pioneers came from my immediate neighborhood. In fact, at that time Hip Hop was New York – PERIOD!
One of those pioneering Rap groups was Salt N Pepa. They were one of the first all female rap groups who actually had a record deal. They had just as much influence on our culture as their male counterparts like RunDMC and LLCoolJ. All of the girls imitated their dress code down to a tee. One of them messed up her hair right before a show and that “mess up” became a famous new female hairstyle!
One of their hottest songs was called “I’ll Take Your Man”. This song was released on an album that came out in 1986. As a DJ, I loved the song because it had a hot beat. Little did I know that 29 years later I would be using the lyrics of this song to psychoanalyze our people who destroy their marital relationships before it even starts!
Have any of you brothers ever realized that you are wanted by more women if you already have a woman? I’m sure you did! Even as a Muslim, I’ve noticed that it is easier for a brother to get married if he is already married, as opposed to being single! I’m sure this makes some of us feel good. However, I’m beginning to think that us men are merely pawns in a self-destructive war that many women have with each other. They capture us and we become the booty or spoils of war in this battle! I think the lyrics of “I’ll Take Your Man” clearly illustrate this! PLEASE READ THEM:
Salt-N-Pepa's back and we came to out rap you
So get out my face before I smack you hoe
Don't you know? Can't you understand?
If you mess with me I'll take your man
Well I'll take your man right out the box
And put him under my padlock
So when you see us together chillin' in the place
Cold walkin' and sportin' him in your face
Go ahead roll your eyes, suck your teeth
Keep huffin' and puffin' like a dog in heat
You can call me a crook, a robber, a thief
But I'll be your butcher if you got beef
You know what's up, I ain't no poo-putt
'Cuz Pepa kick butts off dumb, young bucks like you
And the rest of your crew, if moms want static I'll dis her, too
So scram you know who I am
Damn, chick, don't play me, punk 'cuz I'll take your man
I'll take your man whenever I feel like it
This ain't a threat or a bet, it's a damn promise
From me to you, your sex life's through
If you get another lover, I'll take him, too
All I have to do is say a rhyme or two
And he'll hop and leave you like a kangaroo
I'll make him heel for me, even steal for me
His mother and father, he'd kill for me
That's what you get for trying to play smart
Now take a hike with that slayed-up heart
Girl, you don't know if you're comin' or goin'
Look at your face, your jealousy's growin' and showin'
Don't get mad, you don't have the right
I throw below solo but ladylike on the mic
Psyche is where I win my battles
I'll handle you like a baby with a rattle
Don't make me prove to you that I can
Either give him up or get slammed, I'll take your man
I'll take your man, that's right but just for spite
Because you tried to dis me when I was on the mic
But I really don't want him, the guy ain't fly, shoot
He can't afford to buy a Fila suit
Runs the same old gear, never has fresh wear
What he whispered in my ear I can't repeat here
I don't wanna seem to be so damn mean
But you're the hippiest critter I ever seen
Before I got on the stage you wished me, "Good luck"
Turned around and told your friends I suck
Well look at you now, you ain't got nobody
Searching for love in a fifth of Bacardi
You look bad, girl, you look like you're dying
Ain't no use in crying, I'll take your man
Yo, Cher, school this fool
I'll take your man, your fiancée, your husband
You ain't Alice, this ain't wonderland
And when I say I will, you know I can
Don't mess with me 'cuz I'll take your man
I'll take your man anytime, at the drop of a dime
'Cuz he's rappin' and strappin' so hard on mine
Everywhere I turn, everywhere I look
The brother's eyein' me down, he's staring down my throat
But he's a ducker sucker, soft-hearted punk
Goin' skiing for skeezers, stunts for blunt
So that's why y'all have so many things in common
Him for just robbin', you for nob slobbin'
I never ever went out my way to get player
Keep guys like yours held down at bay
You know I can, I got the upper-hand
Tramp, you don't stand a chance 'cuz I'll take your man
Most girls have guys that's good to go
But yours is slow, he's a freakin' a-hole
The fact still stands, there's no change in plans
"Yo, Pepa, your wish is my command"
Now you know, you know I'll take your man
Check him out, you see what I mean?
He's leading the pack as the fellas scream
"Go Sandy, get busy, go Sandy, get busy"
It's so easy to make 'em fall for me, Heather
No man can resist Salt-N-Pepa
Because we're perfect from head to toe
It's not speculation, your man says so
Revenge is sweet but payback's a trip
Girlfriend, you won't know which is which
But I'll tell you this, don't try to answer this jam
Because if you do then I'll take your
And I'll take your, and we'll take your man
Brothers and sisters beware! I believe this song is a near perfect articulation of “Hoodrat Mentality” which governs the way and reason why many women choose the men that they choose! If you don’t understand my words, read the lyrics to this song again! I have no doubt in my mind that this “Hoodrat Mentality” has entered the Muslim community! And because Islam allows for multiple women in a marriage – without apology – we are particularly vulnerable!
Brother, that sister who you think is really feeling you and is cool with polygyny may not really care about you that much! She man only want to conquer your wife! Is she OVERLY concerned about how your wife survives, her financial situation, how she feels about polygyny, having a relationship with her (under the guise of building a cohesive family), etc… Do you have to remind her that she is marrying you and not her? Did you marry her already? If so, is she all of a sudden starting to point out your wife’s faults? Guess what! She may be trying to get her out of the way! Not because she wants you all to herself! You are just a pawn! She is at war with her and she is trying to prove that “SHE’LL TAKE HER MAN”!
Sister, are you happily married? Are you one of our beautiful sisters who submit to Allah’s Divinely approved marital arrangement that many of us call polygyny? Did you just get a strange friend request on Facebook? Did she introduce herself as your future co-wife? Why is she so concerned about getting all into your world and your space? Does your husband know that she is reaching out to you? Following the Sunnah and being naïve are two different things! Communicate with your husband! You may just have met someone who is bent on destroying you and what you have! Just be careful!